Being the preacher's son that I am, I have heard that the "end times" are close at hand my entire life. Several times I have had that overwhelming fear that this could very well be "it." It has been a key component in my experience with depression throughout the years. The best part is that nothing has ended yet. There has been no rapture, no beasts, Antichrists, or any of the other signs that people were supposedly seeing. I have found myself wondering why the religious will discredit someone having a ten gram psilocybin mushroom experience, only to take Revelations for what it is. Trust me, in my past experience with hallucinogens, it's possible to see much stranger versions of the future in closed eye visions. But you don't see me writing a book on it, telling people all about how the world will end. Why is that? Because we live in a time where we have a much better understanding of natural order, physics, how the universe works. At least our tiny part of the universe.
I see no reason to scare our children with the idea that things could be ending any day now. Though true, in non-religious terms, things could end quite abruptly. With people losing their minds over the mass animal deaths lately, I can't imagine what younger kids must be thinking. It's bad enough to be a kid and hear about Revelations, what a way to literally scare the "hell" out of someone impressionable. I know this is becoming more of a religious rant, and that my writing skills this morning are supremely lacking. I assure you, my fears are completely relevant to my child. I should give some insight to how damaging it was for me to hear that the world was ending.
1. I'll take you back to around a time when I didn't keep track of my age. I had been so worried about it that I was losing sleep. I just knew that tomorrow I was going to wake up in a strange place with God and all, but I didn't want to be. I had so many cool things I wanted to do. I had never been to China, gone to space, rode a motorcycle. It's like someone telling you that not a single one of your dreams will ever come true and they smile about it. My mom did offer me some consolation here and told me "oh, people have been saying that the world was about to end for a long time now. I heard it when I was your age." I might be paraphrasing ever so lightly.
2. Fast forward to me being a teenager. I was in a happy-go-lucky teen relationship with a beautiful young woman, and of course, I thought all was going to be golden for our ever so perfect lives. Regardless of all the issues we had, being the daft teenagers we were. This was during my religious high point. The point when I would actually witness to someone, impose on beliefs, and all that crap. Our pastor (read: business man) at the time had preached a big hellfire, redemption, end of the world sermon. Cue the immediate fear of dreams ending. Suddenly, I gathered a big plan to buy a ring, talk to my girlfriend's father about marriage, and fast track the two of us into a (sure to fail) marriage. I mean, for goodness sakes, it could end at any moment! I hadn't even had sex yet, had kids yet, been married, HAD SEX! I had to solve this miserable dilemma before it all came to an end. Needless to say, things didn't work out.
3. This brings me to my late teens, early twenties. Things didn't matter. It was all going to end soon(ish) no matter what and there was no need to chase dreams that will be stamped out before I achieve them. This was the self destructive point in my life. I had been "saved" and had been taught that it is "once saved, always saved." I was also taught that if you do bad things while saved, God still forgives you, but he takes away blessings in heaven. Whatever the hell that is supposed to mean. I put myself into the position of being passed out in the back seat while the driver drunkenly drove to the next party. I tried to hurt myself many, many times. I figured "what the hell, if it's all going to end, then why not get there first?" Fortunately, I had been told that suicides go to hell (because you know, god didn't think that their life went bad enough apparently). I wanted to kill myself and I had every capability to. The end was very, very close. Not for the world, but for me. My deconversion literally saved my life.
I do admit, a lot of this has to do with how my mind worked as a teenager. But it nearly cost me my life, not a chance I'm willing to take. Religion is not all well and good with the psyche. You can make every excuse in the book telling me that I was told wrong, or that I had bad experiences. Unless you know every single thought of your child, you yourself have no idea what they may be thinking about any number of things you tell them. My parents knew many times when I was hurting, but that had no idea I was literally praying for god to either end the world now or let me die. Not just because I lost a girlfriend, or this and that didn't go my way. No, I can tell you from experience, it is completely unhealthy to let a young person believe that the whole world will end soon. Even if it is into the arms of a seemingly benevolent "savior."
/end rant
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