To Soul, Or Not to Soul

A very clear divide can be seen between the religious and non-religious concerning the presence of a soul. If you're religious, chances are that you believe you have a soul. It is necessary for most religions that have a belief in an afterlife. For non-religious, most a quite comfortable with the idea that there is no soul. Scientifically, there is no need for a soul. Our current information concerning the mind and body fill the gaps without needing some mystical energy to make the gears turn. Our understanding of the brain is certainly not complete, but it is extensive enough to show no evidence of a soul.

Of course, there is no way to prove that we have no soul, or that such a thing as a soul does not exist. However, there is no way to prove it. I have seen a video debate on whether or not humans have souls. The creationist claimed that there were current scientific theories suggesting a form of background energy in the brain gave evidence of a soul. He felt confident that this was proof enough. Unfortunately for him, he forgot that he had discounted the theory of evolution because it was only a theory, not a fact. Plain and simple, whether or not souls exist may be one of the many unprovable theories in our universe.

So why the concern over it? Can't we all just shrug and say "Ahh, there is no reason to worry about something that we cannot prove or change." Hardly. For many, the 'reality' of a soul is essential to give their lives meaning. It gives them something beyond mortality, something that indicates that things are not over after death. Whether the soul is unconscious energy, incorporeal intelligence, some deity granted self, or something else, the need is almost always based on hope for afterlife.

I remember what it was like when I was religious. The concept of having no soul was horrifying. To think that once my body stopped functioning I would be sucked into an infinite darkness, never to feel again, never to see anything or anyone again. It was a palpable fear. There was nothing worse than imagining that once I died, that was the absolute end. Obviously things have changed since then. I no longer fear that overwhelming darkness. As far as we know, there either is or isn't an afterlife. If there is, I doubt it's the eternal heaven. With free will, there is no perfect place to spend eternity. Eventually the inevitable boredom would set in and one would crave the darkness. If we have a soul, what if it does pass from our body to another body? You wouldn't carry your memories with you, so it still doesn't matter. If there is no soul and you simply end, there is still no reason to fret about it. You would be incapable of considering your situation.

Again, with science there is no need for a soul. Afterlife is a silly concept, an attempt to alleviate the pains of mortality and nothing more. Do I believe my unborn child has a soul? No, I do not. Shock! Horror! Devil speak! I don't believe in a god, so why should I believe in a soul? Does having a soul suddenly add worth to what is already a life? If so, shame on you. This comes back to the problem of "how can you have morals without religion?" How could I not? It's part of my genetic wiring by this point. The ancient humans that raped and killed to get ahead died out as a result. Working together proved to be the stronger selection, advancing those successful genes to further improve an already select gene pool. It is difficult to say that people are naturally good or bad, but it's very easy to point out that we tend to want to mate with nice people. The fact that we are conscious has greatly altered how natural selection works. We can choose against the gene pool, we can choose to kill, choose to have a choice. Morality does not require a god, nor a soul.

So I believe my child doesn't have a soul and I believe that evolution made us favor being moral, and that is how it came about. Now, depending on your beliefs, you'll either think I'm a horrible person, wrong, or maybe just 'lost.' You may even think that I'm going to be a bad parent for believing what I believe. I don't know what kind of parent I will be, but I know one thing: there are vast portions of the Bible that my child won't know until he or she is older. And even then it will be to demonstrate why I believe what I believe. I will tell him or her that I don't feel a soul is necessary or that a god is what makes us good people. We make ourselves good people by treating or fellow man right, treating ourselves with respect and dignity. Knowing that just because a large group condone a certain action, it does not make it moral or right. A true god would never command genocide, rape, pillaging. A true god would never burden its creations with an immortal soul that could be forever tortured.

A soul is not necessary to have worth. A human life is not priced by its ethereal contents. Life is precious because it is conscious, it feels, it is made of the same atoms of the universe that supports it.

The End, Probably Not Nigh

Being the preacher's son that I am, I have heard that the "end times" are close at hand my entire life. Several times I have had that overwhelming fear that this could very well be "it." It has been a key component in my experience with depression throughout the years. The best part is that nothing has ended yet. There has been no rapture, no beasts, Antichrists, or any of the other signs that people were supposedly seeing. I have found myself wondering why the religious will discredit someone having a ten gram psilocybin mushroom experience, only to take Revelations for what it is. Trust me, in my past experience with hallucinogens, it's possible to see much stranger versions of the future in closed eye visions. But you don't see me writing a book on it, telling people all about how the world will end. Why is that? Because we live in a time where we have a much better understanding of natural order, physics, how the universe works. At least our tiny part of the universe.

I see no reason to scare our children with the idea that things could be ending any day now. Though true, in non-religious terms, things could end quite abruptly. With people losing their minds over the mass animal deaths lately, I can't imagine what younger kids must be thinking. It's bad enough to be a kid and hear about Revelations, what a way to literally scare the "hell" out of someone impressionable. I know this is becoming more of a religious rant, and that my writing skills this morning are supremely lacking. I assure you, my fears are completely relevant to my child. I should give some insight to how damaging it was for me to hear that the world was ending.

1. I'll take you back to around a time when I didn't keep track of my age. I had been so worried about it that I was losing sleep. I just knew that tomorrow I was going to wake up in a strange place with God and all, but I didn't want to be. I had so many cool things I wanted to do. I had never been to China, gone to space, rode a motorcycle. It's like someone telling you that not a single one of your dreams will ever come true and they smile about it. My mom did offer me some consolation here and told me "oh, people have been saying that the world was about to end for a long time now. I heard it when I was your age." I might be paraphrasing ever so lightly.

2. Fast forward to me being a teenager. I was in a happy-go-lucky teen relationship with a beautiful young woman, and of course, I thought all was going to be golden for our ever so perfect lives. Regardless of all the issues we had, being the daft teenagers we were. This was during my religious high point. The point when I would actually witness to someone, impose on beliefs, and all that crap. Our pastor (read: business man) at the time had preached a big hellfire, redemption, end of the world sermon. Cue the immediate fear of dreams ending. Suddenly, I gathered a big plan to buy a ring, talk to my girlfriend's father about marriage, and fast track the two of us into a (sure to fail) marriage. I mean, for goodness sakes, it could end at any moment! I hadn't even had sex yet, had kids yet, been married, HAD SEX! I had to solve this miserable dilemma before it all came to an end. Needless to say, things didn't work out.

3. This brings me to my late teens, early twenties. Things didn't matter. It was all going to end soon(ish) no matter what and there was no need to chase dreams that will be stamped out before I achieve them. This was the self destructive point in my life. I had been "saved" and had been taught that it is "once saved, always saved." I was also taught that if you do bad things while saved, God still forgives you, but he takes away blessings in heaven. Whatever the hell that is supposed to mean. I put myself into the position of being passed out in the back seat while the driver drunkenly drove to the next party. I tried to hurt myself many, many times. I figured "what the hell, if it's all going to end, then why not get there first?" Fortunately, I had been told that suicides go to hell (because you know, god didn't think that their life went bad enough apparently). I wanted to kill myself and I had every capability to. The end was very, very close. Not for the world, but for me. My deconversion literally saved my life.

I do admit, a lot of this has to do with how my mind worked as a teenager. But it nearly cost me my life, not a chance I'm willing to take. Religion is not all well and good with the psyche. You can make every excuse in the book telling me that I was told wrong, or that I had bad experiences. Unless you know every single thought of your child, you yourself have no idea what they may be thinking about any number of things you tell them. My parents knew many times when I was hurting, but that had no idea I was literally praying for god to either end the world now or let me die. Not just because I lost a girlfriend, or this and that didn't go my way. No, I can tell you from experience, it is completely unhealthy to let a young person believe that the whole world will end soon. Even if it is into the arms of a seemingly benevolent "savior."

/end rant

Smokin'

I'm an occasional smoker. I got in the bad habit of smoking at work on my breaks. That was a bad, bad idea. I'm trying to quit completely now and it is much more difficult this time around! If I don't smoke on break, it feels like I'm not even having a break! Haha, worse than that, if I do smoke I have that horrible nagging feeling that I'm betraying my future children. Terrible feeling guilt is.

I've known people, some close friends, that had parents die while they were relatively young. Regardless of my feelings on death, I have to deal with the fact that now there is one more person that will be directly effected by my health. That is an uncomfortable notion for me. As much as I would like for everyone to have no fear in death, it is a fact of life that we all care to some extent about the death of someone or ourselves. I can say I am unafraid of death, but I cannot say I am unafraid of the effect my death would have on those that love me.

So why all this talk of death? No reason really, but it has been crossing my mind the more I realize just what is happening in my wife's body. I knew smoking was a risk to my health and I've thought about quitting. It wasn't until finding out about my unborn child that it really hit me. Suddenly I want to scrub my lungs clean, take back all the cigs I smoked, and rid my body of any cells that could be copying the wrong information from cell to cell, thus sealing my demise.

Morbid, depressing, and bleak. Not at all how I view death. Not at all how I want our child to view death either. Death can come at any moment, by chance, by intent, by one's own doing. There are steps one can take to potentially prolong life, but when the clock is up, it is up. Being careful is good, not being paranoid. Quitting smoking is being careful. I am not admitting defeat to death and the fear of it.

I want my child to understand that everything that lives does, in fact, die. I want that understanding to include a cautious comfort with the idea. Not because of some deity, not because of religion or the shallow concept of an eternal afterlife. Even though death is frightening, unknown, and uncomfortable, it is just one of the infinitely beautiful systems in this universe. Birthdays are fun because they don't happen every day. Concerts are a blast because they don't last for years. Life is what it is because we all know it will eventually end. All the molecules that came from the very universe in which we live will eventually cease to be our bodies. What we are now will return to the universe that formed it.

"Star stuff contemplating the stars." - Carl Sagan