Billions & Billions of Neighbors

Most everyone knows that I absolutely love Carl Sagan. A brilliant human being, I celebrate him as one of those people that give you hope in humanity regardless of the rest of the world. Of course, he has been dead for quite a while. His ever so well spoken words live on today, shining as bright as the stars in the sky. Science has come a long way since his book (and subsequent TV series) Cosmos, but even now the information and philosophical commentary are pertinent to today's pale blue dot inhabitants.

I discovered Carl Sagan late in life, having only one encounter with something resulting from his writing: the movie Contact. To me, Contact was a thrilling, compelling movie. True, today I still love this movie, but I am a bit more capable of giving it an accurate rating. At the time, I didn't know who Carl Sagan was. I had no idea that later in my life, his words would be as powerful as Richard Dawkin's in swaying my beliefs from theism to science. In a way, I feel like Cosmos was the Mister Rogers Neighborhood I never had after Mister Rogers had become less interesting due to age.

I don't remember if I ever learned anything from good ol' Fred Rogers. I didn't have to learn anything from him to adore the TV show he hosted, he was a distant friend that would talk kindly, show videos of things being made, and let me join him in visiting his puppet friends. Now that I think about it, it was a nutty show, although not nearly as nutty as Lamb Chop. It stimulated an area of my brain that remains active to this day. Whatever part of the brain that produces that amazing brain chemical called "wonder." That and an ever present reminder to feed the fish. I don't have fish.

Even with dated information, I feel that Cosmos will be the upgrade for my kids. Carl Sagan may not have had a train set, or a strict routine for when he enters his quaint home after returning from what had to be a sweater convention. He may not even have a strange puppet land full of moral stories. What Carl Sagan did bring to TV was that same sense of wonder, just a little more matured. And he definitely rocked a sweater more than once. Most importantly, he has the ability to make you believe in the amazing intricacies of the scientific world in which we all live. He had that ability to describe intense scientific theory in a way that was not only powerful mental stimulation, but very easy to swallow.

Yeah, from Sesame Street to Mr. Roger's to Cosmos. My kids are going to rule.

Smokin'

I'm an occasional smoker. I got in the bad habit of smoking at work on my breaks. That was a bad, bad idea. I'm trying to quit completely now and it is much more difficult this time around! If I don't smoke on break, it feels like I'm not even having a break! Haha, worse than that, if I do smoke I have that horrible nagging feeling that I'm betraying my future children. Terrible feeling guilt is.

I've known people, some close friends, that had parents die while they were relatively young. Regardless of my feelings on death, I have to deal with the fact that now there is one more person that will be directly effected by my health. That is an uncomfortable notion for me. As much as I would like for everyone to have no fear in death, it is a fact of life that we all care to some extent about the death of someone or ourselves. I can say I am unafraid of death, but I cannot say I am unafraid of the effect my death would have on those that love me.

So why all this talk of death? No reason really, but it has been crossing my mind the more I realize just what is happening in my wife's body. I knew smoking was a risk to my health and I've thought about quitting. It wasn't until finding out about my unborn child that it really hit me. Suddenly I want to scrub my lungs clean, take back all the cigs I smoked, and rid my body of any cells that could be copying the wrong information from cell to cell, thus sealing my demise.

Morbid, depressing, and bleak. Not at all how I view death. Not at all how I want our child to view death either. Death can come at any moment, by chance, by intent, by one's own doing. There are steps one can take to potentially prolong life, but when the clock is up, it is up. Being careful is good, not being paranoid. Quitting smoking is being careful. I am not admitting defeat to death and the fear of it.

I want my child to understand that everything that lives does, in fact, die. I want that understanding to include a cautious comfort with the idea. Not because of some deity, not because of religion or the shallow concept of an eternal afterlife. Even though death is frightening, unknown, and uncomfortable, it is just one of the infinitely beautiful systems in this universe. Birthdays are fun because they don't happen every day. Concerts are a blast because they don't last for years. Life is what it is because we all know it will eventually end. All the molecules that came from the very universe in which we live will eventually cease to be our bodies. What we are now will return to the universe that formed it.

"Star stuff contemplating the stars." - Carl Sagan